The Power Of Connection

Connection is a relationship in which a person is linked to another. The word LINKED takes the idea of relationship even further. It's defined as “a relationship …especially where one thing affects the other”.

In our last Marriage Round Table discussion we posed the question:

What comes to mind when I say, “Emotional Equity”

Take a moment and consider this term yourself. What do you think when you see it?

The Bible says:

“Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[a] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”

24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

When we were first married, Andrea would often ask, “when are we going to become one flesh?”. This question has taken on a deeper meaning than she intended. When we think about emotional equity, we believe by hurting one of us we are hurting both of us. The idea that saying hurtful things to your spouse is only hurting THEM, is admitting there is a distinction between you two. You’re saying YOU’RE NOT one flesh after all.

Emotional equity means you will think twice about making selfish decisions. It means you will watch the words you say because hurtful words are like boomerangs. You think you’re slinging them at your spouse, but trust… they come back around and hit you too.

Emotional equity means you are invested in the emotional well being of your relationship. You are in a relationship where one affects the other..

One of the ways we discussed building emotional equity and establishing that “One-flesh-ness” is to stay connected. We realize it’s not always easy to have deep conversations after work. We know how exhausting weekends can be and that there are times when you just don’t want to be bothered.

The following exercise is extremely helpful to us, so we thought we would share it with you one more time. We suggest doing this 2-3 times a week before bed, during dinner, or in the car after church. It only takes a few minutes.

Our advice is to alternate answering the questions (ex. Husband reads Q1 and wife answers, then wife reads Q1 and husband answers).

Be sure to follow the prompts AS WRITTEN. This isn't the time to bring up LANDMINE issues.

Keep the conversation to solvable challenges or topics that encourage intimacy. We can’t wait to hear how things go for you at our next meeting.

Daily Touchpoints:

What are you grateful for?

What interested you today and why.

What do you wonder about (or are not sure about)?

What concerns you?

What do you need to seek forgiveness for? Seek that forgiveness (This doesn't have to be specific to your spouse - they may be able to help you with formulating the apology)

What bothers you and what would you like to see change?

FOLLOW THIS PROMPT: "I noticed that you (state your complaint caringly)___________, and instead I would prefer (state what you'd like your partner to do differently)

What do you hope or wish for?

What do you want your partner to pray about for you?

When we took on a spouse, we committed to have and to hold, in sickness and in health.. But as believers our commitment is to the Lord. Our marriages are examples of Christ’s relationship with the Church. It is with this in mind, we must practice emotional equity. We must establish a connection, a oneness with our spouses.

1 Corinthians 16:14 says, “Do everything in love”. That starts with our spouses.