The national average divorce rate in the U.S. in 2022 was 2.4 per 1,000 people, as the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported (Excluding data from California, Hawaii, Indiana, Minnesota, and New Mexico).
What Joseph and I found interesting was, the whole “50% of marriages end in divorce” is said to be misleading and in fact, the divorce rate has declined in recent years. PRAISE GOD!! That said, marriage is still difficult to maintain, especially when God isn’t a part of it.
In a previous blog, we talked about resentment. Because of that, we thought it would be a great idea to follow that post up with one about resilience. Resilience is the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties. Toughness!
Philippians 4:13 says “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” When we struggle with resilience in our marriage, we should call on God's strength instead of our own. Apart from Him we can do nothing, remember. Ephesians 6:10-14 says: “Finally, be strong in the Lord, relying on his mighty strength. Put on the whole armor of God so that you may be able to stand firm against the Devil’s strategies. For our struggle is not against human opponents, but against rulers, authorities, cosmic powers in the darkness around us, and evil spiritual forces in the heavenly realm. For this reason, take up the whole armor of God so that you may be able to take a stand whenever evil comes. And when you have done everything you could, you will be able to stand firm. Stand firm, therefore, having fastened the belt of truth around your waist, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness.”
It’s easy to get in our feelings and want to cast blame, but in truth, we are ALL to blame for something. Fastening the belt of truth means arming yourself with God’s word. Doing this will give you a point of reference and subsequent actions most appropriate for a husband or wife seeking to exalt God. There will be times when your feelings are hurt, your anger flares, and you’re concerned for your relationship. We’re human, after all. What we know, and can count as fact, is God has equipped us with what we need to navigate ANY situation [with Him]. When we were saved, we were issued a breastplate of righteousness. This breastplate is our salvation, purchased for us by Jesus at the cross (2 Corinthians 5:21). It is specially designed by God to protect our heart and soul from evil and deception. When we trust God and lean into His word, we protect our hearts and souls from Satan's attempts to deceive and destroy marriage.
There are many verses in the Bible showcasing resilience. When we feed on them, they will guide our behavior. Let’s look at the definition of resilience more closely and apply each section to our relationships.
The Capacity to withstand
Becoming one flesh is difficult when two people come together with different ideas, upbringings, and overall ways of doing things. It’s tempting to get angry, become resentful, or withdraw if you’re not prepared to weather these growing pains. Marital longevity isn't established from FEELINGS. It's a daily decision. Arming yourself with the belt of truth will give you the tools needed to make the right decision each day. Taking up the whole armor of God is how you can take a stand whenever evil comes.
The Ability to recover quickly
Blame may be the name of the game in the world, but not with God. Understanding your shortcomings makes pointing a finger or throwing a stone difficult. We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God [Romans 3:23]. Recovering quickly from hurt, disappointment, anger or the like, is completely up to you. God gives us a roadmap. Galatians 5:22-23 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” James 1:19 says, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” Recovering quickly may not be possible for you, in your flesh, but with God all things are possible.
Toughness
God always knows what we need when we need it. We’ve seen it countless times in the Bible. From Abraham to Moses to Daniel. The truth is we DON’T have to be tough when we have God on our side. The key is tapping into His strength.
At the time of us writing this blog post, the daily entry for our devotional read, “Feelings per se are not sinful, but they can be temptations to sin. Blazing missiles of fear fly at you day and night; these attacks from the evil one come at you relentlessly. Use your shield of faith to extinguish those flaming arrows. Affirm your trust in Me, regardless of how you feel. If you persist, your feelings will eventually fall in line with your faith.”
The shield of faith in this entry refers to a unique weapon in the armor of God because it is designed to protect, yet it also helps you stand your ground.
In your marriage, stand firm on God’s word and protect yourself with a shield of faith. When you are called according to God’s purpose, all things will work together for your good.
We pray this blog is helpful in your relationship journey and welcome your comments and feedback during our roundtable on the first Thursday of each month.
With Love,
Joseph & Andrea Patrick
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