It’s a little disheartening when you do a Google search for what’s trending in marriage and the results show a plethora of topics like, “Conversation To Have Before Marriage”, “Dangerous Marriage Trends”, and “Effective Topics For Marriage Counseling”. Granted, there are some fun results too. Topics like, “Date Night Ideas” and “Happy Habits for Every Couple”, but overall NOTHING that depicts marriage as the covenant it is.
God didn’t just tell us about the marriage covenant, but He modeled it for us in His commitment to Israel, and in Jesus’ commitment to the Church.
TRUE STORY:
When Joseph and I started in this ministry, we were given a book called: “7 Principles for Making Marriage Work“, by John M. Gotten & Nan Silver. Honestly, when we read this book we were horrified by how NEGATIVE it made marriage sound. We immediately started combing through the material to create a marriage ministry course/program that turned the contents of this book on its head. We wanted to approach each topic from a more positive perspective. Sometimes that’s all you need to do, isn’t it?
APPROACH A TOPIC FROM A MORE POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE
Relationships can be tricky, but when you seek wisdom from the Word of God, you have everything you need to be successful at them.
There are a few rules Joseph and I live by in our marriage. One of them is to keep each other laughing. As a matter of fact, Joseph was just telling Jordan, one of our 25 year old twins, that keeping me laughing is his superpower… lol!! I admit, he does an amazing job at it! As we prepared for this blog post, we came across this article/blog about 7 Marriage Secrets of Successful Couples. As rules go, we also feel pretty strongly about #2 on the list, Successful couples apologize as soon as possible and bounce back from disagreements quickly. Life is too short to hang on to those petty arguments that don’t amount to much in the grand scheme of things. It’s easy to get lost in the weeds, wouldn’t you agree?
After nearly 30 years of marriage, we still have areas to work on, but the following are tips that have helped us. Our prayer is they will help you as well:
WIVES: Early in our marriage, one of the questions I would ask Joseph was, “When are we going to be one flesh”. I wasn’t a Hi bible scholar, but somehow I knew that was a huge part of being successful at marriage. In Genesis 2:23, Adam says …“This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh…” In Matthew 19:6 it says, “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” When you start feeling separated from your spouse, consider what YOU can do to mend your ONE flesh. It won’t always feel fair. You won’t always want to consider your spouse's needs, but IF YOU DO and look to God’s Word for guidance, the load will be much lighter.
HUSBANDS: For many of our married years, I thought…no! I KNEW I was loving my wife. But the TRUTH was… what I was actually doing was loving her my way and NOT how she asked or needed me to. Believe me this is a life-long journey filled with disappointment and regret, but her smiles and the light in her eyes reassure me of God's grace and her love for me. You see I was doing the same thing in my relationship with God. When I learned to approach Him in the manner He requires, I learned many things about myself. Additionally, I learned how God intended me to model love for my wife. MY LESSON….Andrea is God's mirror for me. As a mirror, she can speak, discern, and interpret the picture presented before her. If the image is to change, only I am able to change it. Fellas, instead of looking at your wife through your own eyes, start seeing your spiritual reflection and make it the best it can possibly be.
Here, inside this marriage ministry, Joseph and I want to make sure Godly marriages are trending. Let's be the examples for those who have yet to join us. Share this post with your married friends and then comment with your thoughts about it.
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